Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Joining the Christmas Video Wars

OK. It's that time of year again. I was wondering who would start it up. It appears that Greg at Suspect-Device has done the honors. Oyster has chimed in. Here's my contribution to the reindeer games:

If you think that's something, you'll be even more captivated by Band Aid 20 - Do They Know It's Christmas 2004. Almost as cringeworthy as Sarah Palin's Katie Couric Interview. Almost.

UPDATE: Wet Bank Guy gives us Eenie-Meenie-Chilli-Beanie. Ewwwww!

Maitri, at VatulBlog, starts out with this and returns a second round of fire with an ecumenical and diabolical greeting from Vern Fonk Insurance. Yowza!

Adrastos has just about ruined Christmas for me with his first rounder: Barbie in "A Christmas Carol". Not ruined in the sense of disgusting devastation (because I probably will find it cute), but ruined in the sense that I, who have two young daughters and who put Barbie in the Nutcracker in my Top Ten Christmas Videos list, will now have to add this new Barbie video to the family collection and watch it hundreds of times and listen to my daughters singing the songs over and over and over again -- and not just at Christmas, but all year round! You can head over to Adrastos's main page for all the updates he's since put forth.

Also, check out what Leigh C. has given us over at her blog "Liprap's Lament - The Line."

Jeffrey chimes in with Crystal Gale, Mechanical Chipmunks, and -- oh, the horror! -- Video Christmas cards from Rudi Giuliani and Mike Huckabee from last year.

And, Celsus, Good God - Literally! He starts us with this set of "inspirational" doozies. And then he digs deep into the vaults, even sending one specifically out to me, with these. Andale, pues! Dios Mio!

And then Greg, who laid the bait and started us down this road to perdition in the first place, rallies with this. Damn's he's good! Who the hell can compete with "Kathie Lee's Hip Hop Christmas"? Maybe, Howie Luvzus's fantabulous, Whamirific entry?

I feel like I've been the unwitting victim of an "extraordinary rendition" to Santa's "enhanced interrogation" instruments workshop. Damn those pointy-eared, devilish elves!


Anonymous said...

That song is so freakin' paternalistic! It's made me uncomfortable since I was in 5th grade! When they say, "Do they know it's Christmas time at all?" I always used to think, "well, maybe not. Because not everyone in Africa is CHRISTIAN!" And how about, "There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas..."? Uh, yeah. No snow in Africa. So?

But the best part is when Bono comes in screaming, "WELL, TONIGHT THANK GOD IT'S THEM INSTEAD OF YOU!!" Instead of me, Bono? Don't you mean instead of YOU? Because you could donate just a small chunk of your fortune and cancel the external debt of three African countries.

Huck said...

Yeah, Cynthia, I've never understood that Bono line. For the life of me, I can't think of anything redeeming about the sentiment expressed by it. If anyone knows what he's trying to convey that would fit the even the pretend humaneness of the whole saccharin song, please enlighten me, because I just don't get it.

Leigh C. said...

'I feel like I've been the unwitting victim of an "extraordinary rendition" to Santa's "enhanced interrogation" instruments workshop.'

Welcome to hell, honey.

I hope the DOJ never gets wind of this sorry YouTubular insanity and decides to inflict it on prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. The terrorists would keep us in their sights simply due to the presence of these videos ALONE...